You know how you see firms doing dumb things and ask yourself, “Did no one think this was a dumb idea?” Well, I have this new business idea, and I want to see what you all think about it. Leave a comment and let me know if you think it’d be a success or not.
I’m thinking of starting a consulting company called “Proofed.” Firms will pay a monthly fee to have all of their marketing materials and all of their PR decisions reviewed daily. Before any statement is made or any ad is run, it’s first sent in to Proofed. We’ll review the content and offer our recommendation on whether or not we think they should move forward. We’ll offer an insurance plan for any materials or decisions that were approved by Proofed but resulted in a loss of goodwill for the firm. long wedding dress
Basically, we’re going to be that one person you always think should’ve been like, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t do this.” Just imagine the catastrophes that could have been averted. For your consideration, I’ve included a short list of recent blunders that we’d have easily prevented.
Logan Paul: Hey, I’m thinking dressing as a Pokemon, going to Japan, disrespecting and mocking their culture, and then visiting the “Suicide Forest” to laugh at a man who recently committed suicide. And we’re gonna film it and post it on my Youtube channel.
— Proofed: Probably shouldn’t. Not approved.
Pepsi Co: We’re filming this ad. We’re gonna belittle the efforts of protestors who are fighting issues like racial inequality and gender inequality, and then have a rich, privileged, white celebrity strut up to the police line and give an officer a Pepsi, which will naturally heal all of the divides.
— Proofed: You can’t be serious. Is there not a single POC on this marketing team?! Not approved.
Dove: Ok, it’s an ad. A video ad that will loop. A black woman with a dark shirt on, and Dove body wash in the corner. She takes off her dark shirt to reveal a white woman with a white shirt on.
— Proofed: Nah. Not approved.
McDonald’s: Video ad. Kid asking about his late father. Has nothing in common except a love for Filet-O-Fish.
— Proofed: Jesus. No. Not approved.
Adidas: We wanna send a marketing email as soon as the Boston Marathon is over to capitalize on athlete’s excitement surrounding the race. We’re thinking of the subject line, “Congrats, you survived the Boston Marathon.”
— Proofed: Literally anything but that. Sheesh. Not approved.
Uber: So we know the proposed travel ban is unconstitutional and that literally billions of people are losing their minds over the blatant racist and xenophobic tactics suggested, but we’re gonna promote our ride share services at a discount in the middle of a 1 hour taxi protest at JFK International.
— Proofed: You’ll lose millions. And millions. Would not recommend. Not approved.
Dove: Ok, ok, ok. Shampoo, but in bottles shaped like different stereotypical representations of women’s bodies. You know, tall and skinny, short and fat, extra curvy, etc.
— Proofed: Fire whoever came up with that idea and hire a woman to replace him. Not approved.
Walmart: Someone placed an order for an ISIS flag cake.
— Proofed: Probs shouldn’t make it. Not approved.
Bloomingdales: A picture ad. An attractive young woman with a mysterious guy in a suit looking on. Text in the middle that reads “Spike Your Best Friend’s Egg Nog When They’re Not Looking.”
— Proofed: No…just…no. Not approved.
Under Armour: A shirt. 4 basketball players raising a hoop, but exactly mirroring the manner in which the famous Battle of Iwo Jima picture depicts 4 marines lifting the U.S. flag.
— Proofed: Not approved.
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H&M: We're selling a hoodie with the words "Coolest Monkey in the Jungle" in big letters across the front. We're thinking of using a black child as the model for the hoodie on the website.
— Proofed: Let's not do that. Not approved.